Death Becomes Her

New day, new session. I swear Ms. Perky is growing horns… I saw them! I SWEAR I DID!!! Besides, it gets so darned hot in class… She has to have them!

Do I have to mention I was clock watching today?? It could not have gone any slower…

We did the warm ups… or so I thought. Then we had to go up to the 7th floor. I made it to 6 and back down. I thought that was darned good. By the time I got into the studio, my legs were toddler legs. And I still had 25 minutes to go of my 30 minute workout… grrrr… Wobbly legs all over the place. I’m sitting in my wheelchair now. Pretty sad since my desk is NOT wheelchair accessible. You should see how far I’m reaching for the keyboard. Seriously!!!

We worked with the bar today, too. Arm curls, rows, dips, LUNGES! SQUATS!!! I was having a very hard time standing, let alone doing the exercise. I know for a FACT Ms. Perky hates me. Oh, she can smile all she wants at you… but them horns give her away… AAAHHHH!!!!

We used the balls, as well. Bench work with the balls. Not so bad if your legs don’t already feel like they’re going to fall off any minute. I knew they were going to give out… I just didn’t know when that was going to happen. I’m sure it will be soon. After class, Ms. Peppy went for a run. I don’t know if she’s a show-off or is just into pain. Well, she does have 3 kids…

Last week was the off week. No classes. Woo HOOO!! I was sooo grateful, yet soooo stupid. Did I work out? Hey, I walked from the car to the apartment, all around the apartment. Doesn’t that COUNT??? According to my legs, apparently not. I don’t doubt the fact that I worked my legs. I’m sure the maximus gluteus will feel the burn later. I felt like I’d never exercised before. I quit on several things to wipe my face and neck every 2 minutes… I really hate sweating… It’s gross, I feel like I seriously need to take a shower, I drip everywhere… I detest when the sweat rolls into my ears… (shudder)… just gross…

I’m not sure I’ll be able to take any more classes like this… ACK!! I just have to keep remembering my goal… I know these classes are working somewhat as I have these really weird dents in my legs. I don’t know if I mentioned them before, but I was lounging (not lunging… ) on my bed a few weeks ago and just so happens looked at my hip. I was on my side and my hip stuck out. OH MY GODS!!! I’m deformed!!! I had this dip from my hip to where the thigh muscle meets into my knee. I’m positive this cannot be natural. I may have to consult my physician as to what I can do to STOP THIS… Eww…

The same sort of thing is happening to my upper arms. I mean, I still have huge thigh sized arms and the flab to prove it. But something is going on, because one of my favorite summer dresses I can’t wear anymore. The sleeves are too tight!!!

I mentioned this to Ms. Perky and she said it was natural when you work out… It’s a good thing. This is the same woman who is a size negative 2 that complains about 3 stinkin’ pounds!!! Natural my a$$… Wait… that is natural… still big, too.

I keep telling myself that on the off days, I’ll bring in my sneakers and walk on the treadmill. Since it’s me trying to motivate myself… I’ve done it exactly 0 times. I can talk myself into a lot of things… In my head… Physically I boycott every single time… Bad me.

One of my favorite comic strips is Mother Goose and Grimm??? Grimm is Mother Goose’s dog. This particular set up is Grimm getting caught drinking out of the toilet. Mother Goose gets in his face and yells, "Bad dog! Bad dog!" As Grimm turns away thinking, "Bad breath! Bad Breath!"

Hey, I don’t know why I posted that either… suck it up…K?

The more I think about it… I did work out over the weekend… Sort of… My family (TAFL, The Boy, and I) was invited to spend the 4th with Ms. Peppy and her family. Ms. Peppy, we seriously had a great time. Even when we had to dodge the fireworks being shot into the crowd. I think TAFL’s maximus gluteus has stopped smoldering now. No, no… The chair is fine. We’ll just have to cut it a bit to remove it from his butt cheek, but all is well. Hmmm… Maybe I need to do that on the off days of physical pain and torture.

So here I sit, stretching to reach my keyboard, my cube-mate dabbing the corners of my mouth from the spittle and assisting me with water sips. I’m hoping one day I’ll stop "glowing" so much in class. It’s annoying and I’m sure the other participants really don’t need help getting
drenched.