Ramblings of a Curly Squirrel

My Tiny Little Fitness Blog – OR – Wii, Wii, Wii, All the Way Home.

2009-06-19T20:40:00.000-07:00

Helloooo… yes, I’m still here and kicking… accidentally kicking stuff around the house and then being in pain, but still kicking. I actually have gotten several people wondering what happened to my blog. Well… it… uh… went no where. It’s still… .uh… here… just nothing new posted… I hate to bother people with “Today, I got a hangnail” type stuff. I want meaty stuff to write about. You know, a prime rib type stuff. Mmmmm… - Great, now I’m hungry.

Let’s see… I told you about the 5-point buck without really trying… My knee problems before that… Hmmm… A change in meds. The migraines that happen mostly in the winter…. Blah, blah, blah… Really nothing note worthy.

BUT, as the title might suggest, I got a Wii Fit, thanks to my best friends, L&J.

Wait… Back up…

Remember that I hate exercising. I mean it’s a 10-letter dirty word to me. The ickiest thing about it is the feeling of sweat dripping everywhere… off my boobs, down my backside… and mostly on my face… Blech… So, little do I know a visit with L&J would end up with me having a withdrawal over the stupid thing after going home. So, here I am… a (muffled) year old woman with an addiction to this evil thing.

To begin you have to create a Mii to go into the Wii Fit. I enter the pertinent data, I get tested on balance, weight, BMI… icky stuff. Then it tells you your Wii Fit age… Now… when it tells me my age is over 60, I have a big problem. Not only does this machine think I’m very out of shape, but indicates that I have one foot in the grave with the other one on the edge. The best thing I saw was my Wii Fit age as 31. I really wanted to print that for posterity. Unfortunately, I haven’t found a way to print off my television, and can’t take a picture with a camera. Bummer.

I even created a Mii for TAFL as I thought we’d like to do this together and at least have a bit of competition. His Mii was put into the Wii Fit, he was told to step on the board… and then promptly got kicked out of Wii Fit for being to heavy… Hey, what’s the deal with that? Only skinny people already in shape can use it??? It’s discriminatory, I say!

Going back to the entering the Mii into the Wii. Once your finished with the testing, you can get into the games of torture… I don’t mind the balance (walking on a tightrope, maneuvering a bubble down a river, blah, blah, blah) or the aerobic stuff (step, hoola-hooping, or soccer)… The strength and yoga crap is not on my list… Well… ok… not yet.

Over at L&J’s I scored 31 seconds on the tightrope… That was so cool. I got 1st place. I’m not sure if my record has been beaten yet or not. The Step game has you doing it in rhythm they set. I’m not good at the basic one because I go faster than the rhythm, but pretty good at the advanced. The third option is actually awesome. You set your own pace and then turn the channel to watch TV and hear the beat on the controller.

My soccer experience is rather sad to say the least. In this game, you’re the goalie and have to headbutt the soccer balls to get points. What they don’t tell you is that your going to have shoes with cleats and mascot panda heads being hurled at you as well. I found out the hard way that I suck at headbutting the soccer balls, but I’m really good at knocking myself out with the shoes and panda heads. ::cheezy grin::

Now, the Wii Fit does tell you the amount of time your doing your stuff in a really cute digital piggy bank… Sadly, it took me about a week to realize that’s what it was doing… adding up my time playing the games. Ironically, I hadn’t really paid attention to the time. I’m too busy trying to beat my previous score. The harder I try, the further back on the list I got. Grrr… I did find out, after that initial week of squirrelliness, that the amount of time you “work-out” is directly correlated with the opening of the next game. What really was stinky was I’d be working on balance and I’d get something in Yoga or Strength to play with. Ich…

I’m sure I stated somewhere previously that I’m in the color guard for the all ages drum corps called Prairie Sound Drum and Bugle Corps. About two weeks ago I dragged TAFL to go with me (I detest driving) to one of the member’s homes to try on my guard uniform. After they plied me with a very good margarita, we started playing Rock Band. You’ve seen that game, I’m sure. It’s the thing you have to have the guitar and/or drum and/or microphone controllers to “play” in the band. Our friends forced me to play… I played the bass guitar line. Not so bad on the EASY setting… I started on the lead guitar line only to figure out that I really suck at that, too. Maybe with another margarita…

Ok, so, now I’ve played with my Mii on the Wii and played guitar with the likes of Rob and Jennifer Alright, they are not in disguise and not even professional musicians… But, hey… someday we’ll be on the road with our band… Umm… I think I have a better chance of winning the lottery.

Death Becomes Her

2008-07-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

New day, new session. I swear Ms. Perky is growing horns… I saw them! I SWEAR I DID!!! Besides, it gets so darned hot in class… She has to have them!

Do I have to mention I was clock watching today?? It could not have gone any slower…

We did the warm ups… or so I thought. Then we had to go up to the 7th floor. I made it to 6 and back down. I thought that was darned good. By the time I got into the studio, my legs were toddler legs. And I still had 25 minutes to go of my 30 minute workout… grrrr… Wobbly legs all over the place. I’m sitting in my wheelchair now. Pretty sad since my desk is NOT wheelchair accessible. You should see how far I’m reaching for the keyboard. Seriously!!!

We worked with the bar today, too. Arm curls, rows, dips, LUNGES! SQUATS!!! I was having a very hard time standing, let alone doing the exercise. I know for a FACT Ms. Perky hates me. Oh, she can smile all she wants at you… but them horns give her away… AAAHHHH!!!!

We used the balls, as well. Bench work with the balls. Not so bad if your legs don’t already feel like they’re going to fall off any minute. I knew they were going to give out… I just didn’t know when that was going to happen. I’m sure it will be soon. After class, Ms. Peppy went for a run. I don’t know if she’s a show-off or is just into pain. Well, she does have 3 kids…

Last week was the off week. No classes. Woo HOOO!! I was sooo grateful, yet soooo stupid. Did I work out? Hey, I walked from the car to the apartment, all around the apartment. Doesn’t that COUNT??? According to my legs, apparently not. I don’t doubt the fact that I worked my legs. I’m sure the maximus gluteus will feel the burn later. I felt like I’d never exercised before. I quit on several things to wipe my face and neck every 2 minutes… I really hate sweating… It’s gross, I feel like I seriously need to take a shower, I drip everywhere… I detest when the sweat rolls into my ears… (shudder)… just gross…

I’m not sure I’ll be able to take any more classes like this… ACK!! I just have to keep remembering my goal… I know these classes are working somewhat as I have these really weird dents in my legs. I don’t know if I mentioned them before, but I was lounging (not lunging… ) on my bed a few weeks ago and just so happens looked at my hip. I was on my side and my hip stuck out. OH MY GODS!!! I’m deformed!!! I had this dip from my hip to where the thigh muscle meets into my knee. I’m positive this cannot be natural. I may have to consult my physician as to what I can do to STOP THIS… Eww…

The same sort of thing is happening to my upper arms. I mean, I still have huge thigh sized arms and the flab to prove it. But something is going on, because one of my favorite summer dresses I can’t wear anymore. The sleeves are too tight!!!

I mentioned this to Ms. Perky and she said it was natural when you work out… It’s a good thing. This is the same woman who is a size negative 2 that complains about 3 stinkin’ pounds!!! Natural my a$$… Wait… that is natural… still big, too.

I keep telling myself that on the off days, I’ll bring in my sneakers and walk on the treadmill. Since it’s me trying to motivate myself… I’ve done it exactly 0 times. I can talk myself into a lot of things… In my head… Physically I boycott every single time… Bad me.

One of my favorite comic strips is Mother Goose and Grimm??? Grimm is Mother Goose’s dog. This particular set up is Grimm getting caught drinking out of the toilet. Mother Goose gets in his face and yells, "Bad dog! Bad dog!" As Grimm turns away thinking, "Bad breath! Bad Breath!"

Hey, I don’t know why I posted that either… suck it up…K?

The more I think about it… I did work out over the weekend… Sort of… My family (TAFL, The Boy, and I) was invited to spend the 4th with Ms. Peppy and her family. Ms. Peppy, we seriously had a great time. Even when we had to dodge the fireworks being shot into the crowd. I think TAFL’s maximus gluteus has stopped smoldering now. No, no… The chair is fine. We’ll just have to cut it a bit to remove it from his butt cheek, but all is well. Hmmm… Maybe I need to do that on the off days of physical pain and torture.

So here I sit, stretching to reach my keyboard, my cube-mate dabbing the corners of my mouth from the spittle and assisting me with water sips. I’m hoping one day I’ll stop "glowing" so much in class. It’s annoying and I’m sure the other participants really don’t need help getting
drenched.

Where's the Beef???

2008-06-24T07:49:00.000-07:00

I’ve been asked where my blog is… sigh…*hangs head in shame... I went to class Monday, the 16. We worked with the bar and the ball… After class and the next day, I didn’t have pain due to muscles hurting. How exciting a blog entry would be… No pain… Big whoop… Next class please…
As for the next class… Uhh.. I didn’t go. But neither did Ms. Peppy. We both had work that was due so, neither of us went.
Friday… Since I boycotted Wednesday, it was easy to boycott Friday… No excuse. Grrr… I’d kick myself in my maximus gluteus (I know it’s the other way around.. but you haven’t really seen my butt) if I could just get my foot to my butt..
That brings us back to yesterday. Monday… Yes, yes, I did go to class.. Shush… My thighs don’t hurt as much as they did the first time… but they are still tender. What with the squats and bench work on the ball…
I wore a tank over my sport bra and noticed that my upper arms are about as big around as my thigh… That did not set well with me. Great. If I were a chicken, I’d be a very big fatty chicken. Not good for slaughtering. Sigh…
Ms. Perky told us to get two sets of weights. One set medium, one set moderate. I got the 5lbs and 8lbs. weights. We did flys (flies seem wrong…) on the ball, bench presses, and sitting on the ball we did the chicken thingies. Oh… my…. GODS…. Not only did I look absolutely horrible in a tank, my flab was not helping in the chicken arena. Remember my defective left wing??? Yup! Still defective. The right one isn’t far behind. I was trying so hard to get them right… sigh… I’m going to die… I really mean it… Just like my mom was going to die every time she had a cold. "Mom, your not going to die from a cold." "Well, you never know… I might." Note, she did NOT pass away from a cold…
You know the stretch that you put your arms behind you, clasp them, and stretch? Well, I found that I cannot do that. I can get to the clasping part and then I just sit there… Apparently my upper torso (or my thigh-like arms) are too fat to manage that manuver. Very very sad… I can do the cat stretch without problems… I cannot stretch my back…
We did the push ups on the ground as well as with the ball against the wall. I swear with all the crackling I heard, that mirror (which is affixed to the wall) will be coming down soon. The same noise as our glass doors that go to our elevators. Crackle crackle… Ooops, time to replace THAT glass… Startled the woman opening the door… Strong woman, I say… old door everyone else says… WHATever.
Push-ups, then on back. I think the crunches… leg over your knee.. cross crunches… back on back… Ok, there’s a reason I’m no longer in the Army. This is not one of them. Well, it is, but… Hell… switching back and forth is not easy for a woman of size. I was taken out of my PT (Physical Tort.. er… Training) formation (for the people that suck at PT) to demonstrate how to do a proper push-up. Me. The one that can’t even do one in said proper form. I can manage about five on my knees against the floor, and about ten against my bathroom counter. Oooooh… be very very afraid…
Anywho, I got back to my desk with my fixings for a PB&J lunch and noticed my arms felt not just heavy, but like jello. I have heavy jello arms… Alrighty. First thing I did was hold out my hand… Ow.. Nope, not shaking… This either means my arms don’t hurt as much as I thought or my blood sugar probably is in the normal range (I’m hoping… I never did check it)… Proceed with said sandwich making and eat… I contributed my arm weakness to the butt whoopin’ we just got. I mis-spoke… ARM whoopin’. So, I thought… great, even if I was in a wheelchair from thigh rebellion, my arms wouldn’t work.
So, I start trying to type… THAT was a joke! Took me a bit longer to get stuff in the computer for processing. Grrrr… Hunt and Peck is not a productive way to type. But when you have a stick attached to your hand… peck, peck, peck… Where is that darnned key?!? I can type with both hands pretty well, but Hunt and Peck is hard with one finger.
OK, so I get up and ready for work this morning… The heat of the shower was wonderful! As I’m getting ready, I realize that my "girls" hurt. This can only be contributed to yesterday’s session of corporal punishment. Not only do they hurt, my upper arms, shoulders, neck, abs, not so much the buttocks (read like Forest Gump) and my brain… I swear!!!
Today, we get to sign up for another session… I’m weighing the pros and cons in my head. Pros – Getting closer to my goal…. Cons – pain, motivation, and most probable – death.
Now, I understand that my Cons outweigh my Pros… But there you have it. And my decision is… to sign up Ms. Peppy and myself not for Muscle Conditioning, but Core Conditioning. Same torture, different instructor… (dang, what should I name her??)… and only TWO times a week. Monday-Wednesday. Later in the afternoon, too.
How convenient… Ms. Peppy called to ask how I felt… DARNED SORE, THANK YOU!!! She also reminded me of the dips we did with the balls (don’t go there… shame on you all!!!). The balls were pushed up to the wall. The same wall with the mirror that will break any day now. We were to sit on the ball… put our hands to our sides, and come off the ball into a dip in front of it. My ball was so squishy that I could only manage about a quarter inch up… My butt still firmly planted on the ball. My butt no where near the edge to do said dip. But I seriously WAS working my arms.. I swear!!! I’ve got to be the heaviest person in the class.
It sort of resembled watching Skinks doing pushups on a screen… Skinks are these tiny lizard looking things. About 4-5 inches long, completely harmless, very skinny lizards. I hate them for the last part. Not the being lizards, the skinny part. Grrr… Anyway… they would crawl up the screen on my mom’s patio and they’d do these push-up looking things to attract a mate. Why don’t human men do this… I wouldn’t mind if they did that… "Charlie. I’m sorry I can’t see you anymore. Tom can do 15 more push-ups than you…" Who says women aren’t fickle.
Back to Ms. Peppy. So, she has to leave before sign ups for the next class begin… HOW CONVENIENT, MS. PEPPY!!!… But I have her beat… I’m signing her up for class… HA!! She’s in my grasp now… Ok, she gave me permission and requested that we stay in Ms. Perky’s class… I think Ms. Peppy is on those recreational pharmaceuticals again.
Ok.. she’s GUILTING me into going into Ms. Perky’s class again.… On the upside, I won’t have to think of another name for the new instructor, Ms. Perky is already married so hopefully we won’t hear about those mysterious three pounds… Ms. PERKY – DO NOT READ THIS!!! I really enjoy her class, and I really need to start doing the stairs… I need the cardio, and it will help with my thunderous lower appendages. Per Ms. Perky’s instruction… Tues-Thurs I should start walking… Hey, I think I’m doing good with actually making it to class... Even if it occasional. Ms. Perky is such a meanie-head.
I just picked up my water jug… Ow….

Just when I thought...

2008-06-13T08:11:00.001-07:00

Sigh…. She’s back… then she’s leaving, then back again…
Ok… Ms. Perky’s wedding was apparently very, very, lovely. I saw a few pictures she had at her desk and YOWZA… Not only was the groom a very handsome man, but a very lucky one, too… Ok. Enough comment about that.
So… Last Wednesday, I didn’t go to class due to the fact that I ran out of the house without my workout clothes. It was an accident, really!! Friday… I am at a loss for. I don’t recall going, but I certainly can’t remember dodging. Note to self… take more Ginkgo Baloba.
I really like Ms. Perky-sub, but I couldn’t figure out if I was working hard enough or not. I was certainly sweating… That I can do by breathing. Sad, I know. She also did the wonderful stretches before and after. Ahhhh… Luckily we’ll have her for Friday’s class…
Now, Ms. Perky bounced into class today and announced she only gained 3 pounds on her honeymoon. I want to know where she thinks these pounds adhered to her. I can’t imagine… She’s nuts. After this announcement I thought, "Great… she’s going to want to lose them all in this class… ". I wasn’t too far from the truth…
So we start side stepping. Now, I can’t dance unless I’m watching someone. (Then again, even dancing while watching someone isn’t pretty) Like line dancing. I can do that. And our warm up started. She did arm curls, arm and leg curls, and other things. I did the panicking chicken dance. You know… wings a-flappin’, legs a-flailin’, sweat a-flingin’…
Picked up moderate weights arm curls.. Chose 8lbs. Butts out. Standing flys. Chose 8lbs, dropped 8 lbs picked up 5 lbs. Over the head… chose 5 lbs… arm curls…blah blah blah… then the most favorite of all… SQUATS!… (I think I’m going to be sick) Feet together, shoulder width, wide… Wide squatting with a U shape… flex foot… Remember all those nasty things I thought about Ms. Perky?? Well, let me tell you… I had all but forgotten… I certainly remember now… Grrrr..
On stomach, push-ups... Mine were more like push downs… No ups… I got Ms. Peppy giggling by my attempting to do these.. Then she blamed me for her "failure". WHATEVER… Ok… stand up doing arm stuff. rows, wide rows, arm curls… back now on the floor, more push downs… (Remember, no ups…) I feel like a toddler just learning how to stand on her own… Very, very kid-like.. Very, very unprofessional or dignified.
On back, over head, 5 lbs., stand up, repeat, on ball – benchwork. Keep stomach tight, keep back straight… well, the bench tends to be slanted… thighs hurt. I’ve been watching the clock all this time, and was very surprised that the class went fast… (shhhh… I didn’t just say that)
I’ve seen my profile with and without clothes. It ain’t pretty. I’ve got this stomach thing going… Yuck. I’ve got to find an exercise that makes me use my stomach muscles without me trying to remember to. Then… I have to remember to do these outside class… THEN, I’ll win the lottery and move to Europe… THEN… well.. Yeah, you get the idea.
Thursday, I noticed that my body from my neck to my toes (ok, maybe not the toes, but pretty close to) was a bit stiff… Through out the day I could feel the stiffness coming on. I made sure I took an extra Glucosomine tablet before bed. That usually loosens me up a bit. So does alcohol, but I can’t take enough of that to do the trick if I have to get up in the AM.
Just for the record… I had to leave work to go get TAFL for the frequent car-handoff. I had no sooner walked out the door and half way down the steps when the shuttle used to transport us whooshed away to pick up some more employees… I said quite a few colorful things, to my shock. So… I had to walk all the way down to the car. Now, I can hear you all with your sarcastic Awww going on. You’re not fooling anyone. This was a good AND bad thing at the same time. Good because it made me get a bit of cardio in on the way to the car, the bad thing that it put me a bit later to pick up TAFL. So, on my behalf, I did do somewhat of a workout… It took about 10 min to get there.
Ok… Fast forwarding to Friday… I’m sore… I really wish I had drunk the alcohol. But what can you do after the fact. That and I drink so much anyway… I’m a lush… Ok, a four-pack of wine coolers lasts me a year and a half.
As for today’s work out… I think I’m going to boycott. I know Ms. Perky-sub will be here and her workouts are wonderful to my body… But at the present minute… I have a horrendous headache that has yet to be affected by the OTC pain meds already ingested for such a cure.
I’m sure I’ll beat myself up last on if I can move my arms that much. My forearms hurt, my thighs hurt, my back hurts from neck to butt. I have back problems anyway, but this is more a muscle hurt than a "OOH-I-need-an-adjustment hurt". My shoulders hurt, my "girls" hurt. Let’s just say I hurt.
Ok… If I don’t have the motivation to go to class today… I must create the motivation to do some exercises at home. I may even obtain Ms. Peppy (who wasn’t so peppy yesterday) and walk down the stairs and back up them. Floor 7 to 2 and back again (Hey! That sounded Canadian… Floor 7…)
The motivation I’m really looking forward to is the box of Whitman’s chocolates I have at home… I’ll need some more consoling after I beat up my body…

And one time... At exercise class...

2008-06-02T15:55:00.000-07:00

Well... I didn’t write anything for last Friday, because... well... I was fine, nothing hurt, and I don’t even think I broke a sweat. I figured classes with Ms. Perky-sub it was going to be a cakewalk... Apparently, that cakewalk is weighing heavily on my stomach... Something like White Castle Belly Bombers, without the grease.

So, Ms. Peppy was making some excuse about maybe having to leave class early, blah, blah, blah... But she went... We were late, but she went... She forced me down the stairs from the 7th floor down to the second. Remember those thousand steps? I think going up there are more than going down... I swear!!! But I was ok, because we didn’t go UP!

So we get to the locker room and change. When we finally get into class, everyone is bouncing on balls. THE EXERCISE PILATES TYPE BALLS... Jeez, you guys, get your mind out of the gutter... *shakes head*. So we get our equipment and settle down to work out... I’m thinking, if this is anything like Friday, I’m going to have to step it up... I have a goal....

Just a side note... The goal is to walk the entire site at Interfuse next year... I didn’t say ANYTHING about eating healthier... However, I am not getting into my eating habits on this blog... Well... I might.

Ok... So... We’re in class bouncing on the ball.. I can do that. We stand up and start side to side step-touches. This is such a piece of cake... GERMAN CHOCOLATE!!! We’re warmed up now... Ms. Perky-sub is just awesome... She and Ms. Perky can tag team anytime...

Ms. Perky-sub announces since Friday we worked on the upper body, we’ll be working on the lower body today... That’s when Ms. Perky-sub went evil... I mean horns and everything.... Squats... Ok... This is ok... I can handle this... Uh... Maybe. Thighs are starting to burn... She mentioned something about knees hurting... But that direct call from my thighs to my brain was made and well... If my knees hurt, I couldn’t tell. Squat here, squat there... Here a squat, there a squat... Squat, squat, squat. I’m starting to sweat. Not just a “glow” sweat.. I mean drip, drip, drip, sweating that I hate.

Every time I “glow” profusely my face goes bright red (sort of like Rudolph but not just my nose), my makeup looks like hell, and I can’t find a cool enough spot even if I were in Antarctica. I get “water” in my ears and eyes. My hair frizzes to no end (not even the split ends). I can only imagine what I smell like. Blech. And I have to get redressed to go back to work... *gag*

Now, I’m so glad I brought my towel into class with me... I’m sure my bit of floor was getting squishy. We did so many different variations of exercises that I really can’t begin to call them anything but what they truly are... WRONG!! They are very, very, wrong.

You’d think using the balls would make things easier... Yeah... I thought that... For about a minute. She has us stand over the ball... Right.. I took one that was a bit bigger so I tried to straddle it. So, now I can’t feel the floor with either foot because of the chosen ball. I’m holding on for dear life as this stupid thing starts rolling around... I’d jump off, but I’m not sure how at this point... I finally figure out how to get to my feet and I step back so my feet are on the floor and we’re squatting and squeezing the ball with our knees. Ok... From where I’m standing and the position of the ball... I’m thinking that it’s just going to give way and slingshot from between my legs and attack Ms. Positive who’s standing in front of me... However, I out maneuver that thought by putting my hands on the ball... All while doing squats... (said with clenched teeth).

We finally get to sit on the ball when she tells us to lift the right leg, extend, bend back to 90 degrees, down... All in a count of four... Not like 1234... But 1.,..2....3....4... This is a multi-tasking nightmare. Balancing on the ball... I figured it was squishy and would stay in place...Boy was I wrong. Lifting the leg and doing that thing... Still balancing on the ball... I think Ms. Perky was talking to Ms. Perky-sub recently... Why, I don’t know... Ms. Perky should be on her honeymoon and not trying to devise evil plans to defeat us (read - me)...

Ms. Perky-sub then has us lie down and lean against the ball... I’m going to work on my very maximus gluts... Alright.. Logic tells us we MUST put an arm OVER the ball so it actually can stay where it should. Ms. Perky-sub gives us different variations of what we can do while doing leg lifts... One of them is to put your hand on the ground, over the ball, to help balance you. Ok, I have a huge ball, my arm is over the ball trying to find the floor but I end up clutching one side, and my other hand is clutching the other side for dear life. As we were working our right leg, my left knee was on the floor... I didn’t think balance was really going to be a problem... I...was...wrong.

The count was to do 15 reps on each side. I do what I can, switch to the other side as Ms. Perky-sub states we will be doing this five more times on either side... Brain wake up call... WHAT??? She was only joking... I like her sense of humor...but man I’ve got to think of something to make her pay... I must incorporate Ms. Peppy and Ms. Positive in a revenge session. Although with the two of them, they may talk me out of it... Grrrr....

The final test of the session is to put your feet on the ball... Sort of sitting using the ball as a chair and the back of the chair is the floor. I like that... And do side crunches... Ugh. I use whatever muscles are on call and available. Ok... Sit up into a “V” keeping your feet on the ball. Hands behind you to support you... Well... Ms. Peppy started laughing at me because my hands just slid on the floor and I was back down with just my feet on the ball... I tried a few more times... Ok...so I’m not working on my gluts, my thighs, or my calves... I’m working my abs... Both upper and lower as I just giggle... Do you realize how hard it is to do something while laughing??? I can only imagine how graceful I looked.

We stretched with such beautiful music and I was in zen... Ahhhh.... Damn, now I have to get up... Note to self, devise evil plan before Wednesday...

Have I really survived???

2008-05-30T06:03:00.001-07:00

Ok, let me bring you all up to speed.

Thursday night I decided to take the air mattress off my bed. Early Friday morning (and I do mean early) I remembered WHY I had the air mattress on my bed in the first place. First off, when I bought my mattress about 5 yrs ago, it was a firm and cheap. To make a long story short, my back hurt so bad after the car accident I had on 12/09/2005, that I thought I’d give the air mattress a try until it was sliding all over the place. Hence why I took it OFF the bed. I only had it on my bed for a couple months at this point. Friday I ended up taking the day off and by afternoon I put the air mattress BACK on the bed with the flocking face down. I will never stray again…

All the way to Wednesday again… Ms. Peppy took a well deserved day away from the workout and I’m not going to rag her on that. HOWEVER, Ms. Perky gave us a workout to work off all that pent up perky energy she has as her upcoming wedding approaches in lightning speed. I managed, again, to miss the stairs thing. From what I hear it was much higher than the 6th floor I still struggle with…* happy dance *. I’m so upset that I missed it. Hear me crying? Boo…. Hoo…. Wait, wait… I feel a tear coming on!!!… Never mind it was just sweat.

I finally got into class with about 20 minutes to go. The current exercise was with the free weights for the upper body. My arms still flop around but they are getting better. That is, if you count the movements that you’d see gorillas make with their arms. Not too bad… I think they’re getting longer, too. All the better to move around with… Just drag the knuckles. All the fans were on so it was nice and cool. I was even in the back as to not scare anyone with my big butt. Brought a towel and all.

My dear, sweet husband had free weights he’s been traveling with (read - moving all over God’s green earth with) 3 lbs and 8 lbs weights. I took the 3 pounders to take with me to class. Is it possible to have 3 lbs weights feel heavier than 5 lbs?? My bag was so heavy… UGH! The weights are now nice and safe at my desk. I wonder if they will see any action before next class.
As I stated, Ms. Perky was working us hard. Ok… I was working hard and she was grinning all over the place. After the arm thrashing, we got on the ball (I love those, they are sooo comfy), rolled down to have our mid-/upper backs supported and started doing crunches this way and that and leg lifts. You’d think that the leg lifts wouldn’t be too hard. Let me tell you…. Balancing on a ball, lifting up one leg, extending, back to 90 degrees, down WITHOUT touching the floor, and using your hands only for balance is a really neat trick. Maybe I’ll learn how to do it when I’m 100. Heck, I just hope I’m mobile when I’m 70… I just rolled all over the place…

Roll up to seated, and then rolled back down. I actually made it this time. I was very proud of myself. I did almost rolled myself OFF the ball a few times. (Sorry, C… Didn’t mean to run into you.) Crunches… Roll up, roll down… Leg lifty/balancey things. I swear it was 50 MORE TIMES!!! I’m going to die.

I’m not really sure what order these things went in, but dang… We did those seat thingies against the wall. You know, the ones where you lean against the wall with your back, and then sit on the invisible chair? 15 seconds… Hey, I can do this without much effort… COOL!… Next one 30 seconds… Ok… umm… ouch… Next one 45 seconds… I’m thinking evil thoughts about Ms. Perky… I’m also hearing the wall (it has a mirror on it) crunching itself…. She better hope that her temp replacement doesn’t have it in for us while she’s gone. Next one 60 SECONDS… She hates me… I swear! The mirror might, too. I’m sure it will brake one day with my heavy buttocks stuck against it…

Now that I have my air mattress back on my bed, I’m doing ok. My back hurts not because it needs adjusting (which it really probably does), but from the back exercises… * sigh *… Ms Perky even gave me a paper indicating why you shouldn’t stop working out just because you have a day off or something. I fully intend to use it… Maybe for scrap paper, I don’t know.

Now I just have to manage to keep up with the temporary Ms. Perky. The question is… Will she be just like her??? Let the new evil thoughts begin…

2008-05-30T06:03:00.000-07:00

Day 4, still tired from the move...

2008-05-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

Second Monday down, 5 to go... We are now on the down time Tuesday. My butt hurts... Nothing else, just my butt... Clarify... The sides of my butt hurt... *sigh*...

We had a wonderful tornado drill Monday. I have to say I am very grateful I don't work on the 11th floor. The drill sounded just as I got on the phone to our sister company to discuss a claim. So I manage to get out of my chair, and head down the stairs for the drill. This wasn't just down to the 2nd floor, this was all the way down to the lobby. Well, not exactly the lobby... I mean I wouldn't want to be in the lobby if a tornado struck. Hell, I wouldn't want to be in the AREA if a tornado struck. I'd rather be in Buffalo, NY. I've never experienced even a tornado drill growing up there. I know lake effect. I know snow... Tornados are a different sort of crap.

Anywho... I waited for Ms. Peppy to go down stairs. From the 7th, to the 6th, to the 5th we go. Slowly... very slowly. I can do slow. I swear Ms. Peppy would have sprinted down the stairs because she had that much energy. I believe, correct me if I'm wrong, the only reason she didn't do this was that there were people in front of her. I don't know... I'm just sayin'.

By the time we got back upstairs (by use of elevator... *grin*) it was time to go to class. Geez, louise!!! Ok.. I grabbed my stuff and over to Ms. Peppy's desk... She's not there. Uh huh... She so wanted to step out on an errand... Uh huh... I'm thinking if she misses class, I'm really going to blog about her. So, I headed down... alone... by myself... she's gonna get it. I got to the locker room and started changing and who should appear... yeah, her... she made it and now I can't blog about her... Yeah, watch me.

I guess I waited too long in the locker room because when we came out, everyone was gone. Apparently, they went up to 6 and down again. Damn, missed the stairs... Oh, well... I went down them earlier. That should count for something. It just made me on time for doing heel lifts at the wall and then 200 lunges... UGH! I'm sweating already...

We were to get mats and free weights today. Ok.. I can handle that. We started out with arm work... I'm not so sure anymore... I just know my arms flail all over the place. Then went on to leg stuff... Grrrr... kick out to the front, balance on one leg, and raise your arm. Not at the same time, but still... I'm lucky I have somewhat balance on TWO feet. One foot is a new trick for this old squirrel (yeah, I know the phrase says dog... but I'm not a dog, I'm a squirrel. Neah, so there)..

Sweat, sweat, sweat.. I'm glad I brought a towel today.. Even Ms. Peppy was having a bit of difficulty... HA, That should kill some of that pep... *grin*... Ms. Perky wasn't letting up on the class either... Two days off, I was feeling better... Of course. A personal motivation for Ms. Perky to work out is her upcoming wedding, I'm sure. Oh, hell yeah she wants to look great! Who wouldn't! She does already, but then she's really into this pain thing. No, not her pain, the pain of others. She works us hard. She thinks it's a cake walk. I really don't think she sweats... Ever...

After doing lunges with the weights and without, down on the mat, then up, then lunges, arm stuff with the weights, then down on the mat, with crunches, then lifting the legs and doing crunches, then twirling on your head, and... and... I'm just going to crawl into a corner and die. The fans in the studio are all on... I think two ceiling fans and two regular fans.. All on high... I'm wishing they were all pointed at me.

We finally do stretches... Ahhhh.. I can do those! And I liked it!! Uh... Clarify... I liked the stretching...

Then you relax for a day and forget what the day brought!

Wednesday’s class.... WAS CANCELED!!! WOO HOOO!! Oops, Sorry Ms. Perky... (shhhhh - wooo hooo...)...

More Friday...

Woo hoo!!! I made it a week!!!

2008-05-17T18:14:00.000-07:00

Third workout and the final for the week... Thank the powers that be!!! I’m still alive. I know, it’s hard to believe...

I, somehow, talked a coworker into calling our fitness center to see if there was an opening in the class. She was told no, that there was a waiting list and did she want to be on it. She said yes. Apparently, shortly after that she got another call telling her there was an opening and did she want it... It was then she jumped up from her chair and went down to pay for the class... Bouncing all the way.

Ok.. No problem. Riiiight... I now have TWO perky people in the class to defend myself against... They are EEEVIIIILLLL. The instructor enjoying every minute of pain she puts us through, the coworker very peppy to do the instructor’s bidding.

We started this workout climbing stairs to the 6th floor again and back down. (Don’t remind me... I KNOW!!!) But this time we were to take the stairs two at a time. Yeah, right. I’ll do my singular steps thanks. I count to 1000 and start over... Peppy coworker bounds up the stairs and keeps encouraging me to keep going. I’m going already... SHEESH...

You know, Ms. Peppy has three kids under five and a husband. Where does she get this pep??? I think it may be drugs... But I’m afraid to ask if she wants to share. They’re probably all natural, too. She’s a meany-head.

I get up to the 4th floor... ::pant pant:: rest.... Ok... Up to the 4th and a half floor (what would YOU call it?? *raises eyebrow*) ::pant pant:: rest... On every floor in the stairwell, we have cabinets that have bottled water. We were told once that they rotate them out to have a fresh reserve... I think they should open one right now... I’m dying of thirst... I finally make it after what can only be 20 minutes... Stopping at the drinking fountain on my way to the torture chamber. I find out it’s only been about 7 minutes.
Grrrr.... I always thought going up was hard... Going down was down right painful... My calves started yelling!!!

Equipment for today is free weights, a mat, and a ball... Ok... I can do that. I figure we’ll work on our upper body today... I took the 5 lbs free weights again as I couldn’t find anything lighter than that... Otherwise I think I’d have taken the 1 pounders. Ms. Perky (the instructor) was doing these very structured movements for these arm exercises, while I was trying to figure out if my arms were working. Arm curls, Standing flies (isn't that an oxymoron?)... No chickens today.. Oh, thank god... My arms have yet to speak to me after those... My left arm still doesn’t know what to do.

Did I feel the burn?? When didn’t I feel the burn... I walked from my desk to the elevator and from the elevator to the locker room... Wasn’t that burn enough???

Apparently not. We were told to put the weights on our shoulders... Ok.. That’s not so bad... And do squats... Aww, crap. I really felt bad for the people behind me. You’d think I’d stand in the back of the room if I really felt guilty. Alas, I wouldn’t be able to see Ms. Perky. No, the room isn’t that big... I’m that blind. I refuse to wear my glasses in class due to them falling off. I refuse to wear my contacts on work out days so I don’t get sweat in my eyes... Hey, I want to see!!! Really I do. Thankfully, we did no lunges as I hadn’t quite finished setting up my transportation to the hospital after my legs fall off.

Ok... Time to get on the mat. I’m not fooled... She wants push-ups... *sigh*...sorry, that should be *GASP*... As I stated before, I was in the Army and did push-ups pretty well. I was often called out of our PT (physical training) formation to demonstrate a proper push-up. Ok, the formation was for those that needed help with PT, but it was still flattering. From my head to my heels I imagined a steel rod keeping me in one line. I’m now lucky if I can get that rod from my head to my butt (Not jammed up it... Sheesh, guys...). Forget the heels... Forget the knees!!!

After hundreds of those... Ok, five... She wants us to flip over for crunches... I’m wishing at this point that they had created a mat that just flipped you automatically... This actually takes energy... Crunch, crunch, crunchity, crunch... Ok... FLIP... I’m feeling like I’m a burger frying on a grill... The pain feels the same, I’m sure... A hundred more pushups... Crunchy crunch, crunchy crunch. I mean all of them... Left, right, center... Pushups...

Now the ball... The ball isn’t so bad, it’s a nice cushy ball when you sit on it. We’re told to roll down so your shoulders are on the ball... “bench work”. Flies, over-the-head... Roll up... THAT is easier said than done. Roll all the way up to sitting position and Ms. Perky says to roll down to do crunches... HAVE WE NOT DONE ENOUGH??? I guess not.

We do this about 50 more times... And then the torture is over.... Or so I thought... “It’s such a nice day, let’s take a walk!” Ms. Perky says and Ms. Peppy agrees... I will deal with Ms. Peppy later... *raised eyebrow*... Outside we go...

Sunshine is beaming down. I’m trying not to stumble down the stairs... Grrr... Ms. Peppy stays with me as we walk.... So we walk and talk. And talk and walk. It wasn’t so bad if I didn’t use my calves... All the way around the building... Are we done yet?? Up the stairs... I’m really thinking evil thought about these people.... Back inside and straight to the locker room.

Well... I really did make it a week. And no one was murdered. Probably because I didn’t have the strength.

Second Workout

2008-05-17T18:13:00.000-07:00

Well, I seem to have survived the "off" day to go sliding into another day of punishment... I even got out of my wheelchair for a bit and I was typing with three fingers by Tuesday evening! *grin*. Although, my food was pureed... *shrug*... (ever have pureed pizza??? Me neither.)

Yesterday, I realized that not only did my thighs not like me, but my very gluteus maximus hurt. Now, mind you, my backside is rather... ummm... OK, I'll say it.... LARGE! I had no idea that it had muscles in it, too! (Look, I let the frog go in my high school biology class... Like I know where all of them thar muscles are) It wasn't my whole butt that hurt, either (this is weird), it was only my right a$$ cheek. How bee-zaar!!!

So... Today I crawled from my desk, hopped on the elevator (hey, I'm not doing stairs, remember?) and stumbled into the fitness center. I actually got into my workout clothes and sauntered (ok, it was more like a death march) into the room.

The instructor turns on the music... Nice beat... ready to do some in place marching. "OK, our warm up today is to go up to the sixth floor and back down"! Oh, cool... we're taking an elevator ride! Ummm... this isn't the way to the elevators....

AW, CRAP! STAIRS!!!!!

I distinctly remember stating Monday that I wasn't going to do the stairs for the entire 7 wk session. HA! Granted, I was the last person to get up the stairs, back down and back to the room (Ok.. just for a bit of clarification... the Fitness Center is on the 2nd floor. So, really we only did 4 floors... but many many many many stairs... I think I lost count of each one after 1000), and I stopped for a drink of water before I managed to wobble into class.

Now, mind you, my thighs at this point still ache from Monday. But by the time I finished the stairs, my legs are a bit wobbly... I mean "infant-learning-to-walk" wobbly. And no one was willing to assist me... grrr...

Ok... back in my spot... 20 minutes to go.... *sigh*... Damn, I think there's something wrong with that clock... Our instructor tells us to pick up our free weights to do some arm work... I can handle that. (Yeah... Right) Arms flailing in every direction. I did pretty well with the 5-lbs weights I had... Meaning, I didn't lose grip of them or injure any of my classmates. I did have problems with one exercise that looks to me like a chicken. You know, arms bent in 90 degrees and you lift your arm at the elbow. I managed to do this on the right side... but my left arm was very reluctant to do anything I wanted... I apparently have a dysfunctional wing...

"Let's pick up the pole"! Dear gods, not the pole... AND WITH 15-MIN LEFT OF CLASS!!! I think I'm going to die... Right leg lifts to the front a million times, to the side half a million (they were slower), and to the back... Rest for all of a quarter second.... Right leg lifts to the back (half million...), side (half...), front (million). My left thigh is just about to collapse from the stairs and balancing. The consolation??? I got to hold onto the pole. Yeah, a pole not bolted to anything and just staying vertical with the death grip of my hands. "Ok... rest..." For 30 minutes?? An hour??? No... a quarter second... "OK... let's do the LEFT LEG..." Oh, please kill me now...

We put the pole horizontal and used it to do rowing motion... Butt out... (sorry to those behind me... I know it's not a pretty sight), back flat, I think I can handle the rowing motion... WOO HOOO!!! A movement I can do without pain!! At least I don't think I'm in pain... my brain isn't taking any more messages from my body to allude to any pain... Well... accept the thighs... They're on a long distance connection and they aren't hanging up... no party lines...

The end of this session is mat work.. well.. not all of it. Push ups... (I remember those. I used to be able to do those well.... When I was 18... and in the Army... I even tried to convince my Drill Instructor that I'd melt in the rain if I had to do push-ups in it.... Yeah, nice try... Now the body asks what these are and why am I doing them?) then "Superman" exercises (trust me, you know what this is... and no it isn't anything that can't be seen on the street *raises eyebrow*), then crunches.... then UP... WHAT?? I just got down here, my thighs are in protest, and you think I can stand up now??? (I swear our instructor is so happy about exercise... I get really happy about stuff too... Most of it does not involve contortionistic movements, though... More like... reading a book... HEY, the eyes are getting a work out!!!)

So... UP we get and do more rowing... Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! no more leg lifts!!! Apparently at this point, we have a whopping 6 minutes to go. The last time I had 6 minutes to go, I just left... I see that no one else is running (running???) to the door... Forget that!!!.. Ok.. fine... I'll stay for 6 more minutes.

Back down for another round of push ups, Supermen, and crunches... and more crunches, and..... more.... crunch to the left, crunch to the right, roll over and crawl, Fight, Fight, FIGHT!! (Hey, I never said I could stand up... weebol-ly wobbly legs... remember??)

I apparently made it through another session of hell. The pain really is subsiding.. I think. My thighs are feeling a bit better, and I still think our instructor is only here to see how many people keep coming back for self induced torture. Got to love her, though. She has to teach a bunch of people that want to exercise but have no motivation. *raises hand*... my motivation to GO to class is InterFuse next year. My motivation to STAY in the class once I get there.... still wavering...

What was I thinking???

2008-05-17T18:12:00.000-07:00

Well... I knew I needed to start working out... Walking around InterFuse this year was a pain (seriously). And if I want to stop going as frequently to the chiropractor, I need to build up my core muscles.

So, today I had my first class... and Oh. My. GODS!!! Maybe I picked the wrong one...

First, let me tell you that we are blessed at work to have a fitness center with treadmills, free weights, and nautilus equipment. We are also blessed to have space to hold classes of torture. Those include specialty classes like Zumba (latin dance stuff), Yoga, Pilates, as well as Step and Ball classes. Most classes are $15, but the Zumba, Yoga, and Pilates are a bit more as we contract out for different instructors.

Well... the class I chose was Muscle Conditioning. It was the shortest class I could find (30-min 3x a week or 45-min 2x a week). I figured I'd go for the 30-min class as I thought I could do that without clock-watching. The 45-min class I was sure to stare at the clock.

I went into class today with wide eyes and an open mind. The 4-min warm up was great. I could do that... wonderful... Then we started pole work (no, not those kinds of poles... although... maybe I’ll get in shape to DO that kind of pole... (Don't hold your breath)). I was using a 12-lbs. pole. There was only one 9-lbs. pole and well... I didn't get there fast enough. arm curls this way and that. Lunges and squats (dear gods, it hasn't even been 15 minutes since the class began!!!). Then repeat the whole damn thing... TWICE!!! By this point, my thighs have decided that they've had enough and refuse to let me lunge in any way shape or form. If I have to go on any stairs, I will be left on whatever floor I start on.

Apparently my sweating profusely wasn't enough for our instructor, so she had to add some ball work (HEY, exercise balls... *eyebrow raised* ... You know what I mean...) ok... crunches this way and that... then she has us PICK UP THE DAMN POLE!! We did some "bench work" on the ball. Apparently, being drenched in your own sweat within 10-min of the class starting wasn't enough.

So... all in all... (after they wheeled me to my desk after class, I have found two fingers that can type without making my arm muscles twitch, I have a neck brace holding my head up so it doesn't flop around, and I have someone putting a straw in my mouth every 15-min so I can have a drink...*) it was a pretty good class, until tomorrow. grrrr

*note very big dramatization here... I don't thing I will be doing anything that involves stairs for the next 7 wks...