Woo hoo!!! I made it a week!!!

Third workout and the final for the week... Thank the powers that be!!! I’m still alive. I know, it’s hard to believe...

I, somehow, talked a coworker into calling our fitness center to see if there was an opening in the class. She was told no, that there was a waiting list and did she want to be on it. She said yes. Apparently, shortly after that she got another call telling her there was an opening and did she want it... It was then she jumped up from her chair and went down to pay for the class... Bouncing all the way.

Ok.. No problem. Riiiight... I now have TWO perky people in the class to defend myself against... They are EEEVIIIILLLL. The instructor enjoying every minute of pain she puts us through, the coworker very peppy to do the instructor’s bidding.

We started this workout climbing stairs to the 6th floor again and back down. (Don’t remind me... I KNOW!!!) But this time we were to take the stairs two at a time. Yeah, right. I’ll do my singular steps thanks. I count to 1000 and start over... Peppy coworker bounds up the stairs and keeps encouraging me to keep going. I’m going already... SHEESH...

You know, Ms. Peppy has three kids under five and a husband. Where does she get this pep??? I think it may be drugs... But I’m afraid to ask if she wants to share. They’re probably all natural, too. She’s a meany-head.

I get up to the 4th floor... ::pant pant:: rest.... Ok... Up to the 4th and a half floor (what would YOU call it?? *raises eyebrow*) ::pant pant:: rest... On every floor in the stairwell, we have cabinets that have bottled water. We were told once that they rotate them out to have a fresh reserve... I think they should open one right now... I’m dying of thirst... I finally make it after what can only be 20 minutes... Stopping at the drinking fountain on my way to the torture chamber. I find out it’s only been about 7 minutes.
Grrrr.... I always thought going up was hard... Going down was down right painful... My calves started yelling!!!

Equipment for today is free weights, a mat, and a ball... Ok... I can do that. I figure we’ll work on our upper body today... I took the 5 lbs free weights again as I couldn’t find anything lighter than that... Otherwise I think I’d have taken the 1 pounders. Ms. Perky (the instructor) was doing these very structured movements for these arm exercises, while I was trying to figure out if my arms were working. Arm curls, Standing flies (isn't that an oxymoron?)... No chickens today.. Oh, thank god... My arms have yet to speak to me after those... My left arm still doesn’t know what to do.

Did I feel the burn?? When didn’t I feel the burn... I walked from my desk to the elevator and from the elevator to the locker room... Wasn’t that burn enough???

Apparently not. We were told to put the weights on our shoulders... Ok.. That’s not so bad... And do squats... Aww, crap. I really felt bad for the people behind me. You’d think I’d stand in the back of the room if I really felt guilty. Alas, I wouldn’t be able to see Ms. Perky. No, the room isn’t that big... I’m that blind. I refuse to wear my glasses in class due to them falling off. I refuse to wear my contacts on work out days so I don’t get sweat in my eyes... Hey, I want to see!!! Really I do. Thankfully, we did no lunges as I hadn’t quite finished setting up my transportation to the hospital after my legs fall off.

Ok... Time to get on the mat. I’m not fooled... She wants push-ups... *sigh*...sorry, that should be *GASP*... As I stated before, I was in the Army and did push-ups pretty well. I was often called out of our PT (physical training) formation to demonstrate a proper push-up. Ok, the formation was for those that needed help with PT, but it was still flattering. From my head to my heels I imagined a steel rod keeping me in one line. I’m now lucky if I can get that rod from my head to my butt (Not jammed up it... Sheesh, guys...). Forget the heels... Forget the knees!!!

After hundreds of those... Ok, five... She wants us to flip over for crunches... I’m wishing at this point that they had created a mat that just flipped you automatically... This actually takes energy... Crunch, crunch, crunchity, crunch... Ok... FLIP... I’m feeling like I’m a burger frying on a grill... The pain feels the same, I’m sure... A hundred more pushups... Crunchy crunch, crunchy crunch. I mean all of them... Left, right, center... Pushups...

Now the ball... The ball isn’t so bad, it’s a nice cushy ball when you sit on it. We’re told to roll down so your shoulders are on the ball... “bench work”. Flies, over-the-head... Roll up... THAT is easier said than done. Roll all the way up to sitting position and Ms. Perky says to roll down to do crunches... HAVE WE NOT DONE ENOUGH??? I guess not.

We do this about 50 more times... And then the torture is over.... Or so I thought... “It’s such a nice day, let’s take a walk!” Ms. Perky says and Ms. Peppy agrees... I will deal with Ms. Peppy later... *raised eyebrow*... Outside we go...

Sunshine is beaming down. I’m trying not to stumble down the stairs... Grrr... Ms. Peppy stays with me as we walk.... So we walk and talk. And talk and walk. It wasn’t so bad if I didn’t use my calves... All the way around the building... Are we done yet?? Up the stairs... I’m really thinking evil thought about these people.... Back inside and straight to the locker room.

Well... I really did make it a week. And no one was murdered. Probably because I didn’t have the strength.