And one time... At exercise class...

Well... I didn’t write anything for last Friday, because... well... I was fine, nothing hurt, and I don’t even think I broke a sweat. I figured classes with Ms. Perky-sub it was going to be a cakewalk... Apparently, that cakewalk is weighing heavily on my stomach... Something like White Castle Belly Bombers, without the grease.

So, Ms. Peppy was making some excuse about maybe having to leave class early, blah, blah, blah... But she went... We were late, but she went... She forced me down the stairs from the 7th floor down to the second. Remember those thousand steps? I think going up there are more than going down... I swear!!! But I was ok, because we didn’t go UP!

So we get to the locker room and change. When we finally get into class, everyone is bouncing on balls. THE EXERCISE PILATES TYPE BALLS... Jeez, you guys, get your mind out of the gutter... *shakes head*. So we get our equipment and settle down to work out... I’m thinking, if this is anything like Friday, I’m going to have to step it up... I have a goal....

Just a side note... The goal is to walk the entire site at Interfuse next year... I didn’t say ANYTHING about eating healthier... However, I am not getting into my eating habits on this blog... Well... I might.

Ok... So... We’re in class bouncing on the ball.. I can do that. We stand up and start side to side step-touches. This is such a piece of cake... GERMAN CHOCOLATE!!! We’re warmed up now... Ms. Perky-sub is just awesome... She and Ms. Perky can tag team anytime...

Ms. Perky-sub announces since Friday we worked on the upper body, we’ll be working on the lower body today... That’s when Ms. Perky-sub went evil... I mean horns and everything.... Squats... Ok... This is ok... I can handle this... Uh... Maybe. Thighs are starting to burn... She mentioned something about knees hurting... But that direct call from my thighs to my brain was made and well... If my knees hurt, I couldn’t tell. Squat here, squat there... Here a squat, there a squat... Squat, squat, squat. I’m starting to sweat. Not just a “glow” sweat.. I mean drip, drip, drip, sweating that I hate.

Every time I “glow” profusely my face goes bright red (sort of like Rudolph but not just my nose), my makeup looks like hell, and I can’t find a cool enough spot even if I were in Antarctica. I get “water” in my ears and eyes. My hair frizzes to no end (not even the split ends). I can only imagine what I smell like. Blech. And I have to get redressed to go back to work... *gag*

Now, I’m so glad I brought my towel into class with me... I’m sure my bit of floor was getting squishy. We did so many different variations of exercises that I really can’t begin to call them anything but what they truly are... WRONG!! They are very, very, wrong.

You’d think using the balls would make things easier... Yeah... I thought that... For about a minute. She has us stand over the ball... Right.. I took one that was a bit bigger so I tried to straddle it. So, now I can’t feel the floor with either foot because of the chosen ball. I’m holding on for dear life as this stupid thing starts rolling around... I’d jump off, but I’m not sure how at this point... I finally figure out how to get to my feet and I step back so my feet are on the floor and we’re squatting and squeezing the ball with our knees. Ok... From where I’m standing and the position of the ball... I’m thinking that it’s just going to give way and slingshot from between my legs and attack Ms. Positive who’s standing in front of me... However, I out maneuver that thought by putting my hands on the ball... All while doing squats... (said with clenched teeth).

We finally get to sit on the ball when she tells us to lift the right leg, extend, bend back to 90 degrees, down... All in a count of four... Not like 1234... But 1.,..2....3....4... This is a multi-tasking nightmare. Balancing on the ball... I figured it was squishy and would stay in place...Boy was I wrong. Lifting the leg and doing that thing... Still balancing on the ball... I think Ms. Perky was talking to Ms. Perky-sub recently... Why, I don’t know... Ms. Perky should be on her honeymoon and not trying to devise evil plans to defeat us (read - me)...

Ms. Perky-sub then has us lie down and lean against the ball... I’m going to work on my very maximus gluts... Alright.. Logic tells us we MUST put an arm OVER the ball so it actually can stay where it should. Ms. Perky-sub gives us different variations of what we can do while doing leg lifts... One of them is to put your hand on the ground, over the ball, to help balance you. Ok, I have a huge ball, my arm is over the ball trying to find the floor but I end up clutching one side, and my other hand is clutching the other side for dear life. As we were working our right leg, my left knee was on the floor... I didn’t think balance was really going to be a problem... I...was...wrong.

The count was to do 15 reps on each side. I do what I can, switch to the other side as Ms. Perky-sub states we will be doing this five more times on either side... Brain wake up call... WHAT??? She was only joking... I like her sense of humor...but man I’ve got to think of something to make her pay... I must incorporate Ms. Peppy and Ms. Positive in a revenge session. Although with the two of them, they may talk me out of it... Grrrr....

The final test of the session is to put your feet on the ball... Sort of sitting using the ball as a chair and the back of the chair is the floor. I like that... And do side crunches... Ugh. I use whatever muscles are on call and available. Ok... Sit up into a “V” keeping your feet on the ball. Hands behind you to support you... Well... Ms. Peppy started laughing at me because my hands just slid on the floor and I was back down with just my feet on the ball... I tried a few more times... Ok...so I’m not working on my gluts, my thighs, or my calves... I’m working my abs... Both upper and lower as I just giggle... Do you realize how hard it is to do something while laughing??? I can only imagine how graceful I looked.

We stretched with such beautiful music and I was in zen... Ahhhh.... Damn, now I have to get up... Note to self, devise evil plan before Wednesday...