Have I really survived???

Ok, let me bring you all up to speed.

Thursday night I decided to take the air mattress off my bed. Early Friday morning (and I do mean early) I remembered WHY I had the air mattress on my bed in the first place. First off, when I bought my mattress about 5 yrs ago, it was a firm and cheap. To make a long story short, my back hurt so bad after the car accident I had on 12/09/2005, that I thought I’d give the air mattress a try until it was sliding all over the place. Hence why I took it OFF the bed. I only had it on my bed for a couple months at this point. Friday I ended up taking the day off and by afternoon I put the air mattress BACK on the bed with the flocking face down. I will never stray again…

All the way to Wednesday again… Ms. Peppy took a well deserved day away from the workout and I’m not going to rag her on that. HOWEVER, Ms. Perky gave us a workout to work off all that pent up perky energy she has as her upcoming wedding approaches in lightning speed. I managed, again, to miss the stairs thing. From what I hear it was much higher than the 6th floor I still struggle with…* happy dance *. I’m so upset that I missed it. Hear me crying? Boo…. Hoo…. Wait, wait… I feel a tear coming on!!!… Never mind it was just sweat.

I finally got into class with about 20 minutes to go. The current exercise was with the free weights for the upper body. My arms still flop around but they are getting better. That is, if you count the movements that you’d see gorillas make with their arms. Not too bad… I think they’re getting longer, too. All the better to move around with… Just drag the knuckles. All the fans were on so it was nice and cool. I was even in the back as to not scare anyone with my big butt. Brought a towel and all.

My dear, sweet husband had free weights he’s been traveling with (read - moving all over God’s green earth with) 3 lbs and 8 lbs weights. I took the 3 pounders to take with me to class. Is it possible to have 3 lbs weights feel heavier than 5 lbs?? My bag was so heavy… UGH! The weights are now nice and safe at my desk. I wonder if they will see any action before next class.
As I stated, Ms. Perky was working us hard. Ok… I was working hard and she was grinning all over the place. After the arm thrashing, we got on the ball (I love those, they are sooo comfy), rolled down to have our mid-/upper backs supported and started doing crunches this way and that and leg lifts. You’d think that the leg lifts wouldn’t be too hard. Let me tell you…. Balancing on a ball, lifting up one leg, extending, back to 90 degrees, down WITHOUT touching the floor, and using your hands only for balance is a really neat trick. Maybe I’ll learn how to do it when I’m 100. Heck, I just hope I’m mobile when I’m 70… I just rolled all over the place…

Roll up to seated, and then rolled back down. I actually made it this time. I was very proud of myself. I did almost rolled myself OFF the ball a few times. (Sorry, C… Didn’t mean to run into you.) Crunches… Roll up, roll down… Leg lifty/balancey things. I swear it was 50 MORE TIMES!!! I’m going to die.

I’m not really sure what order these things went in, but dang… We did those seat thingies against the wall. You know, the ones where you lean against the wall with your back, and then sit on the invisible chair? 15 seconds… Hey, I can do this without much effort… COOL!… Next one 30 seconds… Ok… umm… ouch… Next one 45 seconds… I’m thinking evil thoughts about Ms. Perky… I’m also hearing the wall (it has a mirror on it) crunching itself…. She better hope that her temp replacement doesn’t have it in for us while she’s gone. Next one 60 SECONDS… She hates me… I swear! The mirror might, too. I’m sure it will brake one day with my heavy buttocks stuck against it…

Now that I have my air mattress back on my bed, I’m doing ok. My back hurts not because it needs adjusting (which it really probably does), but from the back exercises… * sigh *… Ms Perky even gave me a paper indicating why you shouldn’t stop working out just because you have a day off or something. I fully intend to use it… Maybe for scrap paper, I don’t know.

Now I just have to manage to keep up with the temporary Ms. Perky. The question is… Will she be just like her??? Let the new evil thoughts begin…

Day 4, still tired from the move...

Second Monday down, 5 to go... We are now on the down time Tuesday. My butt hurts... Nothing else, just my butt... Clarify... The sides of my butt hurt... *sigh*...

We had a wonderful tornado drill Monday. I have to say I am very grateful I don't work on the 11th floor. The drill sounded just as I got on the phone to our sister company to discuss a claim. So I manage to get out of my chair, and head down the stairs for the drill. This wasn't just down to the 2nd floor, this was all the way down to the lobby. Well, not exactly the lobby... I mean I wouldn't want to be in the lobby if a tornado struck. Hell, I wouldn't want to be in the AREA if a tornado struck. I'd rather be in Buffalo, NY. I've never experienced even a tornado drill growing up there. I know lake effect. I know snow... Tornados are a different sort of crap.

Anywho... I waited for Ms. Peppy to go down stairs. From the 7th, to the 6th, to the 5th we go. Slowly... very slowly. I can do slow. I swear Ms. Peppy would have sprinted down the stairs because she had that much energy. I believe, correct me if I'm wrong, the only reason she didn't do this was that there were people in front of her. I don't know... I'm just sayin'.

By the time we got back upstairs (by use of elevator... *grin*) it was time to go to class. Geez, louise!!! Ok.. I grabbed my stuff and over to Ms. Peppy's desk... She's not there. Uh huh... She so wanted to step out on an errand... Uh huh... I'm thinking if she misses class, I'm really going to blog about her. So, I headed down... alone... by myself... she's gonna get it. I got to the locker room and started changing and who should appear... yeah, her... she made it and now I can't blog about her... Yeah, watch me.

I guess I waited too long in the locker room because when we came out, everyone was gone. Apparently, they went up to 6 and down again. Damn, missed the stairs... Oh, well... I went down them earlier. That should count for something. It just made me on time for doing heel lifts at the wall and then 200 lunges... UGH! I'm sweating already...

We were to get mats and free weights today. Ok.. I can handle that. We started out with arm work... I'm not so sure anymore... I just know my arms flail all over the place. Then went on to leg stuff... Grrrr... kick out to the front, balance on one leg, and raise your arm. Not at the same time, but still... I'm lucky I have somewhat balance on TWO feet. One foot is a new trick for this old squirrel (yeah, I know the phrase says dog... but I'm not a dog, I'm a squirrel. Neah, so there)..

Sweat, sweat, sweat.. I'm glad I brought a towel today.. Even Ms. Peppy was having a bit of difficulty... HA, That should kill some of that pep... *grin*... Ms. Perky wasn't letting up on the class either... Two days off, I was feeling better... Of course. A personal motivation for Ms. Perky to work out is her upcoming wedding, I'm sure. Oh, hell yeah she wants to look great! Who wouldn't! She does already, but then she's really into this pain thing. No, not her pain, the pain of others. She works us hard. She thinks it's a cake walk. I really don't think she sweats... Ever...

After doing lunges with the weights and without, down on the mat, then up, then lunges, arm stuff with the weights, then down on the mat, with crunches, then lifting the legs and doing crunches, then twirling on your head, and... and... I'm just going to crawl into a corner and die. The fans in the studio are all on... I think two ceiling fans and two regular fans.. All on high... I'm wishing they were all pointed at me.

We finally do stretches... Ahhhh.. I can do those! And I liked it!! Uh... Clarify... I liked the stretching...

Then you relax for a day and forget what the day brought!

Wednesday’s class.... WAS CANCELED!!! WOO HOOO!! Oops, Sorry Ms. Perky... (shhhhh - wooo hooo...)...

More Friday...

Woo hoo!!! I made it a week!!!

Third workout and the final for the week... Thank the powers that be!!! I’m still alive. I know, it’s hard to believe...

I, somehow, talked a coworker into calling our fitness center to see if there was an opening in the class. She was told no, that there was a waiting list and did she want to be on it. She said yes. Apparently, shortly after that she got another call telling her there was an opening and did she want it... It was then she jumped up from her chair and went down to pay for the class... Bouncing all the way.

Ok.. No problem. Riiiight... I now have TWO perky people in the class to defend myself against... They are EEEVIIIILLLL. The instructor enjoying every minute of pain she puts us through, the coworker very peppy to do the instructor’s bidding.

We started this workout climbing stairs to the 6th floor again and back down. (Don’t remind me... I KNOW!!!) But this time we were to take the stairs two at a time. Yeah, right. I’ll do my singular steps thanks. I count to 1000 and start over... Peppy coworker bounds up the stairs and keeps encouraging me to keep going. I’m going already... SHEESH...

You know, Ms. Peppy has three kids under five and a husband. Where does she get this pep??? I think it may be drugs... But I’m afraid to ask if she wants to share. They’re probably all natural, too. She’s a meany-head.

I get up to the 4th floor... ::pant pant:: rest.... Ok... Up to the 4th and a half floor (what would YOU call it?? *raises eyebrow*) ::pant pant:: rest... On every floor in the stairwell, we have cabinets that have bottled water. We were told once that they rotate them out to have a fresh reserve... I think they should open one right now... I’m dying of thirst... I finally make it after what can only be 20 minutes... Stopping at the drinking fountain on my way to the torture chamber. I find out it’s only been about 7 minutes.
Grrrr.... I always thought going up was hard... Going down was down right painful... My calves started yelling!!!

Equipment for today is free weights, a mat, and a ball... Ok... I can do that. I figure we’ll work on our upper body today... I took the 5 lbs free weights again as I couldn’t find anything lighter than that... Otherwise I think I’d have taken the 1 pounders. Ms. Perky (the instructor) was doing these very structured movements for these arm exercises, while I was trying to figure out if my arms were working. Arm curls, Standing flies (isn't that an oxymoron?)... No chickens today.. Oh, thank god... My arms have yet to speak to me after those... My left arm still doesn’t know what to do.

Did I feel the burn?? When didn’t I feel the burn... I walked from my desk to the elevator and from the elevator to the locker room... Wasn’t that burn enough???

Apparently not. We were told to put the weights on our shoulders... Ok.. That’s not so bad... And do squats... Aww, crap. I really felt bad for the people behind me. You’d think I’d stand in the back of the room if I really felt guilty. Alas, I wouldn’t be able to see Ms. Perky. No, the room isn’t that big... I’m that blind. I refuse to wear my glasses in class due to them falling off. I refuse to wear my contacts on work out days so I don’t get sweat in my eyes... Hey, I want to see!!! Really I do. Thankfully, we did no lunges as I hadn’t quite finished setting up my transportation to the hospital after my legs fall off.

Ok... Time to get on the mat. I’m not fooled... She wants push-ups... *sigh*...sorry, that should be *GASP*... As I stated before, I was in the Army and did push-ups pretty well. I was often called out of our PT (physical training) formation to demonstrate a proper push-up. Ok, the formation was for those that needed help with PT, but it was still flattering. From my head to my heels I imagined a steel rod keeping me in one line. I’m now lucky if I can get that rod from my head to my butt (Not jammed up it... Sheesh, guys...). Forget the heels... Forget the knees!!!

After hundreds of those... Ok, five... She wants us to flip over for crunches... I’m wishing at this point that they had created a mat that just flipped you automatically... This actually takes energy... Crunch, crunch, crunchity, crunch... Ok... FLIP... I’m feeling like I’m a burger frying on a grill... The pain feels the same, I’m sure... A hundred more pushups... Crunchy crunch, crunchy crunch. I mean all of them... Left, right, center... Pushups...

Now the ball... The ball isn’t so bad, it’s a nice cushy ball when you sit on it. We’re told to roll down so your shoulders are on the ball... “bench work”. Flies, over-the-head... Roll up... THAT is easier said than done. Roll all the way up to sitting position and Ms. Perky says to roll down to do crunches... HAVE WE NOT DONE ENOUGH??? I guess not.

We do this about 50 more times... And then the torture is over.... Or so I thought... “It’s such a nice day, let’s take a walk!” Ms. Perky says and Ms. Peppy agrees... I will deal with Ms. Peppy later... *raised eyebrow*... Outside we go...

Sunshine is beaming down. I’m trying not to stumble down the stairs... Grrr... Ms. Peppy stays with me as we walk.... So we walk and talk. And talk and walk. It wasn’t so bad if I didn’t use my calves... All the way around the building... Are we done yet?? Up the stairs... I’m really thinking evil thought about these people.... Back inside and straight to the locker room.

Well... I really did make it a week. And no one was murdered. Probably because I didn’t have the strength.

Second Workout

Well, I seem to have survived the "off" day to go sliding into another day of punishment... I even got out of my wheelchair for a bit and I was typing with three fingers by Tuesday evening! *grin*. Although, my food was pureed... *shrug*... (ever have pureed pizza??? Me neither.)

Yesterday, I realized that not only did my thighs not like me, but my very gluteus maximus hurt. Now, mind you, my backside is rather... ummm... OK, I'll say it.... LARGE! I had no idea that it had muscles in it, too! (Look, I let the frog go in my high school biology class... Like I know where all of them thar muscles are) It wasn't my whole butt that hurt, either (this is weird), it was only my right a$$ cheek. How bee-zaar!!!

So... Today I crawled from my desk, hopped on the elevator (hey, I'm not doing stairs, remember?) and stumbled into the fitness center. I actually got into my workout clothes and sauntered (ok, it was more like a death march) into the room.

The instructor turns on the music... Nice beat... ready to do some in place marching. "OK, our warm up today is to go up to the sixth floor and back down"! Oh, cool... we're taking an elevator ride! Ummm... this isn't the way to the elevators....

AW, CRAP! STAIRS!!!!!

I distinctly remember stating Monday that I wasn't going to do the stairs for the entire 7 wk session. HA! Granted, I was the last person to get up the stairs, back down and back to the room (Ok.. just for a bit of clarification... the Fitness Center is on the 2nd floor. So, really we only did 4 floors... but many many many many stairs... I think I lost count of each one after 1000), and I stopped for a drink of water before I managed to wobble into class.

Now, mind you, my thighs at this point still ache from Monday. But by the time I finished the stairs, my legs are a bit wobbly... I mean "infant-learning-to-walk" wobbly. And no one was willing to assist me... grrr...

Ok... back in my spot... 20 minutes to go.... *sigh*... Damn, I think there's something wrong with that clock... Our instructor tells us to pick up our free weights to do some arm work... I can handle that. (Yeah... Right) Arms flailing in every direction. I did pretty well with the 5-lbs weights I had... Meaning, I didn't lose grip of them or injure any of my classmates. I did have problems with one exercise that looks to me like a chicken. You know, arms bent in 90 degrees and you lift your arm at the elbow. I managed to do this on the right side... but my left arm was very reluctant to do anything I wanted... I apparently have a dysfunctional wing...

"Let's pick up the pole"! Dear gods, not the pole... AND WITH 15-MIN LEFT OF CLASS!!! I think I'm going to die... Right leg lifts to the front a million times, to the side half a million (they were slower), and to the back... Rest for all of a quarter second.... Right leg lifts to the back (half million...), side (half...), front (million). My left thigh is just about to collapse from the stairs and balancing. The consolation??? I got to hold onto the pole. Yeah, a pole not bolted to anything and just staying vertical with the death grip of my hands. "Ok... rest..." For 30 minutes?? An hour??? No... a quarter second... "OK... let's do the LEFT LEG..." Oh, please kill me now...

We put the pole horizontal and used it to do rowing motion... Butt out... (sorry to those behind me... I know it's not a pretty sight), back flat, I think I can handle the rowing motion... WOO HOOO!!! A movement I can do without pain!! At least I don't think I'm in pain... my brain isn't taking any more messages from my body to allude to any pain... Well... accept the thighs... They're on a long distance connection and they aren't hanging up... no party lines...

The end of this session is mat work.. well.. not all of it. Push ups... (I remember those. I used to be able to do those well.... When I was 18... and in the Army... I even tried to convince my Drill Instructor that I'd melt in the rain if I had to do push-ups in it.... Yeah, nice try... Now the body asks what these are and why am I doing them?) then "Superman" exercises (trust me, you know what this is... and no it isn't anything that can't be seen on the street *raises eyebrow*), then crunches.... then UP... WHAT?? I just got down here, my thighs are in protest, and you think I can stand up now??? (I swear our instructor is so happy about exercise... I get really happy about stuff too... Most of it does not involve contortionistic movements, though... More like... reading a book... HEY, the eyes are getting a work out!!!)

So... UP we get and do more rowing... Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! no more leg lifts!!! Apparently at this point, we have a whopping 6 minutes to go. The last time I had 6 minutes to go, I just left... I see that no one else is running (running???) to the door... Forget that!!!.. Ok.. fine... I'll stay for 6 more minutes.

Back down for another round of push ups, Supermen, and crunches... and more crunches, and..... more.... crunch to the left, crunch to the right, roll over and crawl, Fight, Fight, FIGHT!! (Hey, I never said I could stand up... weebol-ly wobbly legs... remember??)

I apparently made it through another session of hell. The pain really is subsiding.. I think. My thighs are feeling a bit better, and I still think our instructor is only here to see how many people keep coming back for self induced torture. Got to love her, though. She has to teach a bunch of people that want to exercise but have no motivation. *raises hand*... my motivation to GO to class is InterFuse next year. My motivation to STAY in the class once I get there.... still wavering...

What was I thinking???

Well... I knew I needed to start working out... Walking around InterFuse this year was a pain (seriously). And if I want to stop going as frequently to the chiropractor, I need to build up my core muscles.

So, today I had my first class... and Oh. My. GODS!!! Maybe I picked the wrong one...

First, let me tell you that we are blessed at work to have a fitness center with treadmills, free weights, and nautilus equipment. We are also blessed to have space to hold classes of torture. Those include specialty classes like Zumba (latin dance stuff), Yoga, Pilates, as well as Step and Ball classes. Most classes are $15, but the Zumba, Yoga, and Pilates are a bit more as we contract out for different instructors.

Well... the class I chose was Muscle Conditioning. It was the shortest class I could find (30-min 3x a week or 45-min 2x a week). I figured I'd go for the 30-min class as I thought I could do that without clock-watching. The 45-min class I was sure to stare at the clock.

I went into class today with wide eyes and an open mind. The 4-min warm up was great. I could do that... wonderful... Then we started pole work (no, not those kinds of poles... although... maybe I’ll get in shape to DO that kind of pole... (Don't hold your breath)). I was using a 12-lbs. pole. There was only one 9-lbs. pole and well... I didn't get there fast enough. arm curls this way and that. Lunges and squats (dear gods, it hasn't even been 15 minutes since the class began!!!). Then repeat the whole damn thing... TWICE!!! By this point, my thighs have decided that they've had enough and refuse to let me lunge in any way shape or form. If I have to go on any stairs, I will be left on whatever floor I start on.

Apparently my sweating profusely wasn't enough for our instructor, so she had to add some ball work (HEY, exercise balls... *eyebrow raised* ... You know what I mean...) ok... crunches this way and that... then she has us PICK UP THE DAMN POLE!! We did some "bench work" on the ball. Apparently, being drenched in your own sweat within 10-min of the class starting wasn't enough.

So... all in all... (after they wheeled me to my desk after class, I have found two fingers that can type without making my arm muscles twitch, I have a neck brace holding my head up so it doesn't flop around, and I have someone putting a straw in my mouth every 15-min so I can have a drink...*) it was a pretty good class, until tomorrow. grrrr


*note very big dramatization here... I don't thing I will be doing anything that involves stairs for the next 7 wks...